Pancho had a bathroom/water fetish!
When my cat, Pancho, died of feline leukemia, I took to my bed for three days and cried more than I think I've ever cried in my life. He was only three and this was in the early 70's, before there was a vaccine. I'd never even heard of it. And, except for a couple of months in the New Hampshire woods with my parents' cats, he was an indoor cat. I loved Pancho more than any cat I've lived with before or since. He was fun and spunky and smart.
Maggie, going gray
And now I've lost two dogs and a cat in
the past five months. I haven't cried as I did with Pancho, but I
feel utterly anchorless. And I've always believed that I don't like
anchors. It's almost a hollow feeling, as though I could blow away. I
guess I never fully realized how much my life revolved around my
animals. I continue to plan my days around the trip to the dog park
at noon. When I come home late, I immediately think about how hungry
Maggie must be. I just saw the note on the calendar that it's time to
buy more flea/tick medicine and was about to make the phone call.
Poor Myrtie!
I've lived with cats my entire life,
beginning with Myrtie (named after my grandmother, Myrtle), my
parents' cat before I was born.
I should never have been allowed near animals!
Dogs followed soon after – always
dachshunds in my childhood.
Robin always slept under the covers with me
and rode in the basket of my bicycle
But in the middle of my life, though I
always had cats, I was dogless for more than 20 years. I lived in a
city, they'd have to be inside, they'd need walks...…
Ellen and Midas
We finally got a dog when we left San
Francisco and moved to Santa Rosa. Ellen wanted a dog, so we got a
Golden Retriever puppy. She named him King Midas. Several years
later, we got a Black Lab puppy named Becca. We lived on an acre at
the entrance to Spring Lake Park, a far cry from living in the city. Other than one skunk encounter, it was no big deal and Spring Lake was right out the front door for walks.
Becca and Midas
But living in the “country”
resulted in our going a little off the deep end with pets. At one
point, we had 2 dogs, 6 cats, 2 horses, 2 cockatiels and a whole
bunch of rats! I don't recommend that! I definitely learned that I
don't like having pets who are forced to live in cages.
Dinner time when I was growing up
Midas developed bone cancer while Ellen
was in graduate school in Chicago. She flew home to say goodbye to
him, but it was up to me to have him euthanized. She left me with
instructions that I was to sing “Leaving on a Jet Plane” to him
while he died. It was beautiful that day and I got Midas out on the
front porch (he could barely move), where he lay in the sun and the
vet came and administered the shot, while I sang and cried.
Midas and Becca had lived, for the most
part, as though the other didn't exist. They were not buddies, but
Becca fell into a major depression when Midas died. She just stared
out the window all day. We put her on anti-depressants. Ellen pushed
me to get another dog and emailed photos from online searches. She
sent the photo of a dog named Scully, who was about to be euthanized
at a kill shelter in Grass Valley. Julia and I went up to check her
out and we took Becca along.
Maggie loves water
The shelter had an outdoor fenced-in
area where you could take a dog to get acquainted. We brought out
several dogs, one at a time, to meet Becca. She wasn't interested.
Then we brought out Scully – beautiful brown and white with a bushy
curved tail - and that was the one for Becca! Then Julia knelt down
and Scully put her front legs around Julia's neck. That sealed the
deal. Scully had been found running down a road with her black and
white brother and was presumed to be part Akita (the tail!) and part
Border Collie. Brown and white Border Collies are much less common
than black and white ones and the resemblance to Scully – renamed
Maggie – is obvious.
Julia and Maggie
It turned out that we had saved a
severely traumatized dog. We presume she had been beaten, We did not
see her pee for almost a year – she always hid. If we called her to
go outside, she ran past us as fast as she could. She was terrified
of hoses. But she became close to me and she developed separation
anxiety. She ate the furniture when no one was home – three
couches, the rattan off some chairs, the legs of tables and the
corners of bookcases. Most people would have sent her back to the
shelter, I guess.
Chilling in the backyard
People suggested chew toys, but Maggie
had plenty of those. One day I came home to find she had eaten a hole
in my bedspread, the blanket, the sheets, the mattress cover, and the
mattress and had stored her toys inside. I learned later that Akitas
are nesters.
At the dog park
She loved going to the dog park and was
the fastest dog, loving being chased by the others. Back then there
was a pond and she adored water. Eventually, the pond was eliminated
because it was so difficult to keep clean. Maggie really missed it.
Andrew and Lilly
After Becca died, Ellen and her family
came to live with me while she worked on her dissertation and that
included Lilly. They had adopted her at the same time they had been
encouraging me to get another dog. In the meantime, Maggie had had a
traumatic encounter with another dog and was wary of dogs. I had to
stop taking her to the dog park and she never really became friends
with Lilly.
Nola
Sadly, Lilly died too young and Ellen
adopted another dog, Nola. But when Ellen finished her
dissertation and moved to North Carolina to teach, that left Maggie
alone, again. But she had mellowed and really slowed down – age and
arthritis – and we returned to the dog park. Though she wasn't very
social and couldn't run as before, she always loved going. We became
regulars again.
Maggie and Bruno enjoying the dog park
And then, two years ago, I rescued
another dog, Bruno, who was twelve and a boxer-pitbull mix. He was a
sweetie and I'll write a bit more about him another time.
Bruno took over the recliner
Other than the expense of vet bills and
medications, it's pretty easy having two old and mellow dogs and I
highly recommend senior rescues – if you can afford it! The thought
of old, abandoned dogs breaks my heart. I'll leave the hard work of
puppies for someone else!
Bruno always rode shotgun
Bruno lived with me for a year and a
half. He died, at about fourteen, in April. Then my cat, Polly, died
in June at seventeen. Then Maggie died in September, just shy of her
fourteenth birthday.
Polly as a kitten
I was busy all day on her last day and
we didn't make it to the dog park until about 6:00 – we usually
went mid-day. As we walked from the parking lot, I thought about how
good she looked for her age. I thought about the vet, who had said, "but they can go downhill quickly." And that night, about 10:00, she
started having trouble walking and she couldn't lie down. She was
pacing, panting and in pain. I took her to the emergency vet and they
diagnosed a ruptured disc and said she was gradually becoming
paralyzed. They gave me long, slow and unpleasant treatment options,
which made no sense for a dog her age.
Bruno and Maggie hanging out at the foot of the bed
I knew that Julia would want to say
goodbye, so I left Maggie at the vet, where they gave her strong
painkillers, and told them that if she got markedly worse and really
uncomfortable during the night, they should call me any time for
permission to euthanize her. When Julia and I arrived in the morning,
Maggie was paralyzed and in severe distress and they hadn't called to
let me know. She was heavily medicated, but still trying to get up
(which was impossible) and I hope that she realized we were there and
holding, petting and talking to her as she was put out of her pain.
Maggie and the dragonfly garden tile
Now, more than a month later, I haven't
moved her food bowl and there's still some food in her food bin and
treats (peanut butter flavored) in the treat container. I have moved
her arthritis medication off the kitchen counter. I've started
reclaiming the backyard, which was seriously abused and neglected
after many years of dogs. And I can't decide whether to get another
dog or cat.
Polly
I'd only adopt an older rescue and that
means vet bills, not out in the future, but soon. I think I'm a good
candidate for that because providing them with love and a good home
when they've been abandoned, outweighs my sadness when they die. I
also want to drive across the country, hopefully by sometime next
year – a genealogical pilgrimage. It's difficult to travel with a
dog – hot cars, “no dogs allowed,” etc. And leaving an elderly
dog behind for a long time doesn't seem kind.
This guy is cute, don't you think?
I've visited some dogs and have been
tempted and I'm trying to resist. My house is empty in a way I've
never experienced before. I like living alone, but, apparently, that
means without people. I wasn't sure until now.
tissue please
ReplyDeletexxxxxooooooo Michael and Andie
ReplyDeleteI remember Lilly, but mostly, Polly, Maggie & Bruno. I can't imagine life without a pet.You already know what my decision would be. I'll pet sit, you know.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, Susan. I hope your sadness and feelings of loss lessen as time goes by. Andrea
ReplyDelete